If this makes me a bitch, then I am a bitch. But I will always pride myself of the thrill and the mystery in something hidden, something secret. I will always have the privilege of remembering the words we spoke, the time we spent, the tension we created and the kisses we shared when she wasn’t on his mind. That will always be ours, and ours only. 

READING. Thanks to Lauren Oliver’s Pandemonium, my imagination came back to life. I failed last year’s challenge, only got to read 41/50 books. I hope to complete the challenge this year! :)

Hello, it’s almost four in the morning and I can’t find the urge to sleep. I’ve missed you far long before you were gone, but now I miss you more than ever. I’m not going to ask why you had to leave so untimely, but I have to admit that you surprised me, ‘Nay. Your surprise is by far the most surreal one I’ve ever gotten. I know you’re in a beautiful place, so I don’t have any complains.

I’m happy that you didn’t have to suffer before you left.Aunt Irene says that you looked like you were just sleeping, even had a smile on your face. Such a peaceful, graceful way to leave. I envy you for that, making death look like eternal rest, indeed. God must love you that much. But I have to tell you that to me it feels like the weight of my world has tripled, at the same it feels like just an empty place.

Joyce showed me your room yesterday, everyone was inside, tidying your things, packing them up so they can send them back home. It was a filled room, but without you it looked so bare. They showed me pictures of you, they were reminiscing all the days you spent in New Jersey. How you never missed an occasion. You were always there. I know you’re still here, though. You left but to me you’re still here, Nanay.

I’ll write to you as often as I can, because I believe that it’s never too late for me to make up for all the times that I let you miss me with the mere excuse of distance and the twelve-hour time lapse. I’ll end here, ‘Nay. I might write to you again later. I love you and I miss you.

From Path.

siya lang yun eh </3

(via iaremikee)

(via flapdoodledoo)

The only thing that pains me in leaving you for real is the reaction my friends would give me when they find out. They’d all be sorry for you and say/imply that I’m a bad person or that I’m fucking unappreciative of a really nice guy. They’d all nag me into giving you another chance and grill me into the fact that you are the only guy who stood by my attitude this long. They would all consider your feelings and be in your favor instead of mine. That charisma you have on my friends is the only thing that is making me stay, at the same time it has the biggest impact on me wanting to leave you. I hope one day I could leave you for good and they’d stay by me without mentioning your fucking feelings.